THX

I'm sure everyone who has ever driven a car has done it: has driven up alongside the person in front of them to see if they could get a visual indication of why that person is so stupid. I firmly suspect that the guy who built the second automobile in existence did so only because he needed a vehicle fast enough to catch up to the guy in the first car and see what in the hell was wrong with him.

Pulling out of the grocery store parking lot today, I found myself behind a woman in a minivan with a flat rear tire. Make no mistake, I don't mean the tire was low on air, I mean it was flat. She had nothing more than a rim and a few ragged strands of steel-belted radial. That did not stop her, however from driving along at a healthy 35 mph. I was fascinated. I pulled up alongside her, mostly for the aforementioned reason, but also because I felt I was in a position to offer some assistance. I wouldn't have gone so far as to help change the tire. Oh Lord, no. I learned that sad lesson the hard way. I was willing, though, to at least point out to her in some manner that probably would have involved honking and pointing, that she was using only three wheels on a vehicle that traditionally calls for four.

I don't know that I expected to see her wearing a dunce cap as I drove past her, but it certainly wouldn't have surprised me. What I saw did surprise me. Written on the driver's side window, in letters so clear I assume they were written with an instrument designed for that very purpose, were the words, “Out of gas. Be back in a minute. Thx.”

I did not honk. Or point. Or make direct eye contact. I decided my best course of action was to speed away and go about my business. She obviously knew what she was doing. She knew what she was doing and I did not. To take the matter any further would have brought nothing but unpleasantness to all involved.

I'm safe at home now, a little wiser about the world and generally thxfull to have four sturdy tires, a tank full (halfway) of gas, and no need for window-writing instruments.