Purple Rain? I love that song!

My girlfriend, because she loves me deeply and knows far better than I do what is bound to make me happy, bought me an iPod. My commute has become a wonderful adventure of surprise, humiliation, and extreme cold. I creep down ice-coated asphalt every morning and find myself saying things like, “Ruby Tuesday? I love that song!” Then I’ll mumble something along the lines of, “Of course you do, ass. That’s why you loaded it into the iPod.” Then my mind wanders to skies the color of old undershirts and the spot on my windshield that the wiper doesn’t seem to want to touch, and the next thing you know:

“Paranoid Android? I love that song!”
“You’re not listening to the radio, tardmo.”
“Oh yeah.”

People around me hate one another and risk each other’s lives, trying to get to work a few minutes sooner, and the sun comes up, but the temperature stays right where it is and…

“Lust for Life? I love that song!”
“You really are an ass.”
“Yep.”

…and on I go, inching ever closer to downtown Minneapolis, worrying that winter will never end and that there may come a day when I’m not surprised by what the iPod delivers next.